I’d Like to Propose a Toast to the Happy Couple

H and I hang out with some super cool chicks at our office (eh hem layer eh hem). We work in a sea of different personalities and clothing styles. I love my work ladies. If I were to break down my defensive walls against the concept of sororities, I might ask these ladies to be in mine, and I would call it “Ipsum Chi Lady-dady-da Ya Ya.”

But this post isn’t about all my special gals, this is about 2 in particular. My initial sake: CG, and the sales leader: SB.

CG is engaged to the fabulous Q. Whom I love, partially because I doubt I’ll ever need to reference someone in a post as Q again, and partially because one time CG told me a hysterical story about Q and a Red Roof Inn.

SB is married to the dynamite J. J couldn’t care less about what others think of him. (That’s probably part of the reason him and SB have such a good relationship, girlfriends draws a lot of attention to herself. Heart you SB.) So that’s pretty tight, but also probably means he doesn’t care that I’m writing this post. I like people to swoon over me, so I find that slightly disappointing.

You can deduce quickly that SB and CG are in happy, loving, cutesy-tootsie relationships. Good for them. Kudos friends. But the true value of their happiness is the seriously hysterical material it provides H and I.

You should hear these two talk about weddings. It’s like depicting those scenes from horror movies when you’re screaming, “don’t go in there!” Not because marriages are scary, but because the details and the stress are insane. I mean, you gotta deal with like 4000000 people when you get married. Everyone has an opinion, and suggestion, and critique, and idea, and desire, and want want want.

Then there are the issues with Q. Boyfriend what is up with taking forever to choose your outfit for the wedding? I can’t help but wonder how you manage to get dressed in the morning if that was such a difficult process. You know what they say about indecisiveness…? (I don’t, do they say something?)

But the worst part about getting ready for your wedding is the eating. You can’t do it. You gotta fit into this wedding dress and look like a flippin angel. So now CG won’t go with me to Chipotle for lunch because she’s gotta be all ‘ready for the dress.’ So I’m taking one for the CG-Q team here and eating my homemade lunch. It isn’t easy.

But - in the end - CG is going to look spectacular, her dress is beautiful, and Q is a total gem.

My song pick for you two, team CG-Q, is a little Alicia and Usher (mmm Usher) “Even before all the fame and people screaming your name….Girl I was there and you were my baby.” Cute.

So we got this whole pre-wedding cha cha going on with CG. Then we got SB. SB and J tied the knot in September, so the two are still full fledge in the “honeymoon” phase of their marriage.

I’m learning that post marriage and wedding bliss you enter into a new realm of life. Looking for a new place to live together where you will be able to raise your family, combining finances, dealing with sleep deprivation, cuddling with dogs. You know. The usual.

SB is totally addicted to J. They send each other text messages that make you want to punch them in the face. This girl is so into her marriage, she’s got photos of the happy couple all over the office. Not just in her cubicle, but in everyone’s. Don’t get me wrong, I like my SB and J photo, I picked it myself, I like to think it truly depicts the relationship. But imagine the confusion when visiting our office and seeing that everyone has a photo of the sales director and her husband at our desks. Weird? A little.

Truly, girlfriend still acts like they’re dating. Last week SB made J check on some semi (not at all) frightening stuff going on in her building. The next day she shared with me:

“I had to email my husband about how great he is this morning. I’m so uncomfortable.”

My song for the fixation duo SB and J is Obsession. Obviously. For serious. Calm down you two. (But actually don’t. I love it.)

That’s all. Just wanted to give a shout out to the two relationships I’ve been monitoring since January. You’re doing a nice job by the way. I’m learning lots, so keep up the good work.

Now I gotta go hang out with my little sis who tells me she’s in love with some kid named Kahim. Kahim is under the impression that my sis hates him. Apparently it’s strategic. Ah yes…to be 8 and in love.

-C