Decaffeinated Coffee. Classic.

(I refuse to give an explanation of my writing absence)
 
So as the picture H posted goes….I broke my elbow a few weeks ago. You can laugh, and make up names. I’ve actually got a running contest in my head of who’s humored me most impressively with their witty opinions on my elbows fate.  If you would like to throw in your own insult/joke of choice, I’ll add it to the circle of injury related hilarity.

Naturally, I’m sure you’re all very worried about what it was that happened that left me in such a state.

I really thought hard about how I would explain the injury when I was good and ready. But then, just now (like literally, just now, about 3 seconds ago), I decided I’m not going to tell you. Stretch your imagination. It’s not like “how” I broke my elbow has any impact on the fact that it’s broken.

Having a broken elbow isn’t so bad, and I like a good challenge, so I’m trying rise above all my one armed-ness to experience life in a whole new way. It’s truly fascinating to realize the things you can accomplish with only one arm. You learn to leverage your mouth and teeth a lot more (yeah…), and also your friends, roommates, coworkers, and male escort when necessary. And at the end of the day, you can do almost everything. Maybe not well, maybe not while looking suave, but you can do it. (Although I don’t recommend dancing, again, “can do” awkwardly, but that one left my elbow pulsing with hot stabs of pain last weekend.)

With that in mind, I shared with H, who shared with the inter-webs, that I want to make a list of all the things I’m going to do when my ulna heels and I again have two operating limbs:

  • Go grocery shopping for heavy things and carry them in two arms.
  • Throw my hands up in the air and wave them around like I just don’t care.
  • Eat a sandwich with two hands (everyone should try eating a sandwich with one hand, it’s incredibly awkward).
  • Buy a slingshot.
  • Pose for a photo with my head resting on my left hand.
  • Try on every single piece of clothing I haven’t been able to wear because it doesn’t fit over my cast.
  • An act of left-handed lude behavior.
  • Turn 23.
  • Climb a tree.
  • …


If you have them, comment with additions to my list, and I will do my bestest to accomplish every last one of them.

Now that we’re done with that, everyone STOP asking me If I’m going to be okay when you find out that H is moving!!!!!

I’M OKAY.

REALLY.

I’M

O. K.

And, No! That’s not a tear, something just flew into my eye…..and my new stash of waterproof mascara, regular coke, peanut butter and movies that teach you about the value of friendship like Now and Then are just a coincidence. Jeez.

Welcome back Sopo,
- C