Dear Diary

Hey look, it is already twenty seven days into the new year! How have you been? What’s good?

I know, January is miserable month.  

Recently, the Chicago family celebrated the birthday of one my favorite people.  As these things tend to go with us, a food and wine filled night was had and plenty of Armenian references were tossed around.  The evening continued with a visit to a comedy club on Clark and Addison, with plenty of laughs and hipsters.  

For those of you familiar with the bar scene of Wrigleyville, little explanation is needed for the perpetually fraternistic atmosphere.  Think freshman Sigma Chi experience, only these brothers have an extra decade under their belt of debauchery and lack of self awareness (no pun intended. I think).  Yes, I have been one of these delightfully loud and obnoxious characters walking under the lights of Wrigley Field once or thrice.  Sup.

For someone whose favorite activity is people watching (I do love mocking the unaware), a walk down Clark at 1:45 am is nothing less than a smorgasbord of great jokes at others expense.  My walk home Saturday night (Sunday morning, whatever) was no exception.  Outside one bar a man was being hand cuffed and tossed into a police van.  His defense?

“Sir, I am a college graduate !”

Classic.

After an outburst of laughter, a glare turned smile by one of Chicago’s finest men in uniform, and my continued walk-but-really-iPod-commercial-style-dance-a-thon home, I’ve decided to invoke that little catch phrase more often. Much like shouting “You can do this!” or “No, I’m Meredith” it has a seemingly endless situational quality.

I had a list of very funny ways that this little gem could be used to distance yourself from your own stupidity, but after making myself giggle too many times and forgetting to jot them down, I decided I’d open it up to you (yes, you, and by the way may I say you are looking fantastic this evening!).

Whoever posts the best, most outrageous, or simply most clever situation that being a “college graduate” will come in handy can start the year 100 CHpoints. Also, anyone have a favorite airline?

-H