That “zoom zoom” commercial was nothing but evil masked by a cute little boy.

A bit delayed, I wrote this post last week just before an anonymous storyteller told me about 2 occasions in which said person fell asleep behind the wheel. Bearing that awesome imagery  in mind:

With the inner most depths of my being, I despise driving. I’ve never understood those who anticipate, with enjoyment, a “long drive.” Or those who get in their car when frustrated to ease their minds. Because to me that’s straight the weirdest flipping thing ever.

Cars are dangerous! No person in their right mind can truly tell me that I’m fabricating. Car accidents happen…a lot. Fender benders to full on cosmic crashes. One…just one…wrong move in the driver seat could end your life. What about that equates to the definition “joy ride?”

Since I’m sure you’re a safe driver, and kudos for that, trivia me this: cars also cost money. A lot of money. First you have the initial purchasing of the vehicle, then car insurance (which by the way is there in the first place in reaction to all of the issues that cars represent), that’s followed by general maintenance to keep the piece of metal ticking, gas money, any add on toys and gadgets for you car obsessed freaks, parking, traffic tickets and once again…CAR ACCIDENTS.

OR you could spend that cash on a fantastic trip, new clothes, a good meal, a boat, etc, etc, etc…

Certainly, I understand it’s easy for me, living in my beloved city that affords me the luxury of getting anywhere I want via public transit, to bash on auto owning. It’s not like I’m blind to the necessity of driving in suburban cities, and/or the land of my parents known as “farm country.” I recognize driving from place to place as an unavoidable hell, particularly in the winter months when you have to take bikes off the list of alternate transport options. I get it. There are probably a lot of things in life that we have to endure despite their danger rating. Like: I’m not sure actually, apparently microwaving plastic is a natural hazard, and I know there are more things.

I’m sure most of you HTBAATOTW fans don’t have the same anger towards vehicles that I have. I also know that those of you who are aware of my car accident back in the day when I first got my license are thinking I’m still holding a grudge against that damned intersection (which finally got a light put in by the way!) But this is bigger than that. It’s a full on mental phobia!! So whatever. I’ve got two major hates in life, driving, and my irrational fear of bridges.

Allow my rant to ensue for just a bit longer…

Do tell? Why risk getting a ticket if I don’t have to, what’s the point in taking a chance at hitting a deer, I’m not interested in having a run in with a drunk driver, I don’t even want to be rear ended, or hold the person in my passenger seat’s life in my hands. Those particular incidents may be rare, and generally speaking avoidable. But come on! Like celibacy is a sure-fire way to avoid unexpected pregnancy, so not-driving is a way to increases my potential for safety. (And I only have catastrophe insurance this month, so it’s important for me to avoid injury.) (Plus, If I’m going to take one of those two risks. Nevermind.)

Now, H and I believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason. Which mutes, to a small extent, some of my above points. But if fate is going to set it, it will find it’s way with or without the death-wish that comes in shiny BMW boxes.

To the point. I’m abolishing driving when I take over. It’s not my first order of business, but it’s on the list. So start your engines for the time being, because in the age of “H and C Oh La La,” a new mode of transportation is going to exist like never before. I can’t let on too much…but it involves an iphone app and a lot of caffeine.

Go Greece,
-C

Yesterday H and I returned from our long weekend trip to the Concrete Jungle. Thurs - Mon we adventured the in’s, the out’s, and the New Jersey suburbs of NYC.

The romantic weekend was just what we needed. A chance to remember why we love and prefer Chicago, to do some shopping, see a parade, play board games, go to church with Stephen Colbert, eat snacks, misc adventuring, and visit our beloved Hipsters. More to come.