Why does glitter stick to everything?

I’d love to be a screenplay writer. After an evening couching, watching sitcom after sitcom of hilarity…I feel like I’ve missed my calling. I can write. Or so I tell myself on a regular basis, I think my skill sets would be well versed for an episode….or two.
 
Of course, I’ve no idea how you get into the field of “script writing.” Plus, I have a feeling it’s rather competitive, and that like directors and actors have all kinds of things to say about what you write. Thinking on that….I suppose I’ll move on to my next profession whilst I await the day and moment that this blog is discovered and my cell phone rings…because someone has dialed the number I’ve retained since high school with the same area code I’ve had since my first phone at the age of sixteen (ironic given that kids get phones when they’re like 8 these days, actually, I don’t think that’s considered irony) and someone says, “Well, ello, would you like to write for my show?”

So. What will I do now that I can apply for any job, anywhere, anytime, anyplace?

Crafts? I wonder as I sit next to a lovely plaid clad A who snorted glitter** earlier (it’s not what it sounds like. She was just trying out a glitter mustache) if I should enter the world of crafts. I know it’s not an obvious money maker. Starving artists and all. But yesterday I created an ornament covered in googly eyes that could be in the field museum…which is actually for historical artifacts…which makes no sense. I also covered a cardboard bird this afternoon with painted fathers in purple and yellow. I got an unimpressive reaction from, ehem, someone. But M found it positively admirable. Not the right choice. Fair. Enough. Moving on.

When I entered college I thought I would be an educator. I still love education…as many of you know my true passion lies in my future of improving students writing capabilities at a young age, and I will use proper grammar when I work with kids….but I don’t want to teach. It’s not even because I don’t like snot. I just don’t think I could do the kid thing all the time. It’s stressful having life in your hands. Teachers all over, I bow down to you.

Bartender? Waitress? Tips are good. It’s something to consider.

Maybe I should open a popcorn store! I make a bangin’ bowl of popcorn. I mean for real-ski-s BAG-OR-ANG. I might be able to sell it. I’d have to look up the legal ramifications of selling marked down bags of popcorn to hide in your purse outside of movie theaters before I pursue the career. But, there’s a viable opportunity there. Can I touch it? No?

Fine. I’ll own up, admit it. I can’t get away. I frickin’ love digital marketing. It’s the life I live, the lead I love. I’m lucky. I actually really do know what I want. Time to sharpen my skills so I’m ready to be the untouchable marketer that makes lab grown meat popular by consumption.

It gets me excited.

Almost as much as seltzer water.

-C


**Glitter, as we now know, is considered the STD of crafts. Stop what you’re doing. Put the sparkly stuff down. A glittery discharge is no fun . -A