Once this guy I know ran 26.2 miles through the streets of Chicago in a bright yellow shirt. He also lives approximately 26.2 steps from my door. Some may call us “roommates.” His name is Jon. Jon is, the main dude, the big cahoona, the cyclone of Sicily, and my dear friend. No H Jon doesn’t know this, but he actually teaches me a lot about world dictatorship. When ruling the roost, it’s important to ensure that people love you. That way, they wont attempt a revolt and overthrow you. People love Jon. Ergo, by imitating Jon’s likeability, I’m guaranteed ruler-ship love me long time. It’s been a joy learning tactics of human admiration from Jon. Now, I want to show my appreciation for Jon as both a friend, and guide in the art of being awesome. So…I wrote a poem. J Is For Jon: I know a boy who has swell hair.To him I often can’t compare. He loves to eat and drink and cook.And when he cleans after, it’s by the book. Sometimes he puts his head on the couch and feet in the air…And then waves them around like he just don’t care. He possesses amazing skills in the art of charade.Like, if he wanted to work as a mime on a street corner, he’d definitely get paid. My friend loves gadgets and gizmos of tech.He’s also an advocate of a good pondering sesh. There is no chance this boy is going to hell.Unrelated - accents are a game he plays very well. He’s able to fall asleep with a drink on his chest.And I know no one else with such a talent during rest. My friend is very well dressed, and incredibly sweet to his girl.Sorry boys, he’s straight! And his GF Alexa…oh how I love that pearl! He cares a lot about others when they’re down.Which is only one of the reasons he’s rated among the top sweetest guys in town. J is for Jon!That’s right, no H is his name.You’re pretty cool my friend. I’d never describe you as lame. Yep. I would equate Jon to a super hero friend. But he’s a way too fashion forward for a cape. Instead I’ll put him in the super-cala-fragilistic-expialidocious total BAMF friend category. SO - No H Jon, if you’re reading this, and I know you are, it’s not just how handy you are that makes me want to keep you around. Especially not after that one time you accidently put a door on backwards. It’s just straight up you my bro. You’re the best. Snaps,-C

Once this guy I know ran 26.2 miles through the streets of Chicago in a bright yellow shirt. He also lives approximately 26.2 steps from my door. Some may call us “roommates.” His name is Jon.

Jon is, the main dude, the big cahoona, the cyclone of Sicily, and my dear friend.

No H Jon doesn’t know this, but he actually teaches me a lot about world dictatorship.

When ruling the roost, it’s important to ensure that people love you. That way, they wont attempt a revolt and overthrow you. People love Jon. Ergo, by imitating Jon’s likeability, I’m guaranteed ruler-ship love me long time.

It’s been a joy learning tactics of human admiration from Jon. Now, I want to show my appreciation for Jon as both a friend, and guide in the art of being awesome. So…I wrote a poem.



J Is For Jon:

I know a boy who has swell hair.
To him I often can’t compare.


He loves to eat and drink and cook.
And when he cleans after, it’s by the book.


Sometimes he puts his head on the couch and feet in the air…
And then waves them around like he just don’t care.


He possesses amazing skills in the art of charade.
Like, if he wanted to work as a mime on a street corner, he’d definitely get paid.


My friend loves gadgets and gizmos of tech.
He’s also an advocate of a good pondering sesh.


There is no chance this boy is going to hell.
Unrelated - accents are a game he plays very well.


He’s able to fall asleep with a drink on his chest.
And I know no one else with such a talent during rest.


My friend is very well dressed, and incredibly sweet to his girl.
Sorry boys, he’s straight! And his GF Alexa…oh how I love that pearl!


He cares a lot about others when they’re down.
Which is only one of the reasons he’s rated among the top sweetest guys in town.


J is for Jon!
That’s right, no H is his name.
You’re pretty cool my friend. I’d never describe you as lame.



Yep.

I would equate Jon to a super hero friend. But he’s a way too fashion forward for a cape. Instead I’ll put him in the super-cala-fragilistic-expialidocious total BAMF friend category.

SO - No H Jon, if you’re reading this, and I know you are, it’s not just how handy you are that makes me want to keep you around. Especially not after that one time you accidently put a door on backwards. It’s just straight up you my bro. You’re the best.

Snaps,
-C