December 2010
11 posts
God Bless Us Everyone
A truly remarkable occurrence came to be last night. For the first time in many years, all of my siblings congregated under one roof. Now, this might seem an insignificant feat, especially given the commonality of such a gathering around this time of year, but for my family it has become a rare and even daunting task for all of my brothers and sisters to find themselves in one spot at one...
Repeat after me. Pepper.
Happy Christmas Eve world. And to those who don’t celebrate, Happy Friday. On this fabulous Eve of Christ’s birth I, probably not unlike others, am enjoying a delicious glass of Christmas Eve wine with my family after an off the chain Christmas Eve meal, complete with, yes, chestnuts roasted on an open fire, or in the oven. As if that picture isn’t adorable enough, I’ve got Christmas Carols...
That “zoom zoom” commercial was nothing but evil...
A bit delayed, I wrote this post last week just before an anonymous storyteller told me about 2 occasions in which said person fell asleep behind the wheel. Bearing that awesome imagery in mind: With the inner most depths of my being, I despise driving. I’ve never understood those who anticipate, with enjoyment, a “long drive.” Or those who get in their car when frustrated to ease their minds....
You Go Delta
C and I decided to go to New York for the weekend. We took off early this morning at an ungodly hour, after an evening filled with your typical Chicago send off for my now former roommate. That is how I’ve come to be sitting in a dismal airport terminal by myself, waiting for C to arrive (she had to make a stop in Philly, something about getting steak or cheese. She is so Irish sometimes)....
Dear G, You are not what I expected. An interesting paradox, as that is exactly what I expected before I met you. I have enjoyed living with you. Here’s to looking at you, kid. Good luck. Sincerely, H
Watch
Why does glitter stick to everything?
I’d love to be a screenplay writer. After an evening couching, watching sitcom after sitcom of hilarity…I feel like I’ve missed my calling. I can write. Or so I tell myself on a regular basis, I think my skill sets would be well versed for an episode….or two. Of course, I’ve no idea how you get into the field of “script writing.” Plus, I have a feeling it’s rather...
Be Careful What You Wish For, And Other Such...
Author’s Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you. Bitch. I have guy friends. I do! So all those clever quotes from When Harry Met Sally fail me in this, my long promised post on dating in the City. Somehow between friends, ‘just friends’, and ‘maybe if I don’t meet her in the eyes no one will remember we used...
In Vino Veritas
C has this coffee maker. I have no idea what brand it is. She won it our freshman year, at a dorm give-away-raffle-finals-week type of event. I did not go with her, instead I think I was studying. Okay, I have no idea where I was. Not the point, the point is that this coffee maker must be blessed or something. Maybe, just maybe, that two weeks we spent as Buddhists the same year...
The Shit, Hath Hit-ith, The Fan, Ith
Yesterday I got myself catastrophe insurance for the month of December. As a beautiful women said, “It’s so I can get hit by a bus now.” The insurance lady asked me all kinds of questions to evaluate how likely I am to do something extreme, like the obvious base jumping, that would result in needing to up the price of my insurance. One of her questions was if I was over 300 lbs. You know...